


Catharsis

by Greenspoons



Category: The Gifted (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Thunderblink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 16:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12657642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenspoons/pseuds/Greenspoons
Summary: Clarice despises what Sonia did to her, but there was only so much she could hate her for.





	Catharsis

**Author's Note:**

> Where do I even start gushing about how much I love this ship? Thunderbink ftw!

Clarice stared at her reflection in the mirror, taking in her dark, damp strands and the pair of very luminous green eyes staring back at her.

She was recalling a time when she first discovered her abilities. For practice, she teleported her own things between the bed, the closet and the dresser. Not everything remained intact after she used her powers on it but she got better. Slowly if not surely.

But now she didn't know how much of the progress she made was her own accomplishment anymore.

"Clarice, you in there?" There was a knock on the door, followed by the tinge of impatience in Lorna's voice. "I really have to pee."

"I'll be out in a sec," She called out, quickly patting her hair dry and combing it with her fingers.

"Sorry about that," Clarice gestured vaguely towards the bathroom when she came out. "I didn't know you were waiting for your turn." 

"It's alright," the green-haired woman said, and something about the way she smiled back at her instantly put Clarice at ease. Two weeks had passed since they rescued Marcos’ girlfriend but she was still struck by the niceness of the person beneath that tough, gothic punk rocker exterior. Lorna possessed that combination of coolness and confidence that Clarice could only ever dream to have. "It's one of those places where we can truly be alone with our thoughts. Don't worry. I get it."

Clarice opened her mouth to say that wasn't what she had been doing, but before she could get a word out, Lorna was speaking again. "John told me what you did for the Underground and the things you've been through," At this, Clarice’s gaze snapped up to her, simultaneously trying to decipher the meaning of those words.

She wondered if they told anyone about what Dreamer had done. Would they have taken her side, or that of someone who had been with them far longer than her? Not to mention, Sonia was Lorna’s best friend. All she had wanted to do for the past week was to forget that she had felt a connection here. Living with all the people here had made her feel less alone, even if she could care less about their life stories. And she really missed having Zingo around.

“… thank you for being a part of this team,” The heartfelt sentiment from Lorna pulled her back out from her own head just as she felt herself nodding in acknowledgment of the gratitude. When Clarice’s gaze refocused on the other woman, Lorna was shutting the door behind her hurriedly, unable to hold her pee any longer.

She walked down the hallway, passing by the common area where she briefly made eye contact with the others. However, she was oblivious to the concerned look that trailed her retreating figure as she went outside for some air.

Under the warmth of the late afternoon sun, Clarice found a shady spot to sit down. Closing her eyes, she thought of the warm jelly donut. It had always been easier for her to make a connection to things she’d had or places she’d been to than, say, someone.

Energy crackled between her palms, the orb intensifying from the size of a basketball into a portal the size of a plasma television. But as she began visualizing the donut shop she used to frequent and had worked at for a time, she heard a rustling sound that made her turn around instantly.

Clarice had been on the edge ever since she confronted Dreamer about what she’d done. There was just no way of knowing if her mind could ever be secure again, now that she knew Sonia could just sneak up on her and alter her memories. She also knew for a fact that there were other telepaths in their band of mutants and she would probably make an easy target since her mind had already been broken into.

Shiloh was standing in a patch of sunlight, her eyes downcast. Where Clarice stood out as the one with fuchsia hair, creepy green eyes and two tiger-stripe marks over one eye to match; the seven-year-old had more difficulty blending in. Her skin resembled that of an armadillo except hers was a deep dark green, and she had flaxen eyes that were too light to pass as normal. 

She turned her attention away from the portal as it fizzled out. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Clarice asked, relaxing a little. Something was clearly making the girl upset.

“I made toast for lunch but… no more Nutella,” she said in a tinny voice as she looked to Clarice.

The teleporter smiled and held her arms out. “Come here,” The girl obeyed, shuffling forward as she herself stood up and crossed the distance between them.

An idea occurred to her. “Do you like donuts, Shiloh?” The girl nodded enthusiastically. “What about chocolate ones?”

“It’s my favorite,” she admitted.

“So what do you say we get us some?” Clarice rubbed her hands together with an equal mix of glee and mischief.

John was watching them from the shadow of the Doric column that made up the old bank's exterior. Given his enhanced hearing, he could hear Clarice and the girl at where he stood. Clearly, they were up to no good, but it was harmless enough that he decided he could allow them to. No one had to know that he knew and had let something like this come to pass.

It wasn't like him to be this blasé about the people that he was responsible for, but he had confidence that Clarice knew what she was doing. He wasn't going to deny that because of what Sonia did, it gave him an idea of the extent of Clarice's teleporting abilities. But he already knew she was special, didn't he? None of the teleporters they had were capable of tearing apart the fabric of space and time when they were out cold. 

The portal stretched before her, and she stepped into the donut shop which she envisioned in her mind's eye. She came out on the other side and was greeted by the racks that held freshly-baked donuts. Having been a staff here for three months, she knew that the new batch of goodies always came out at 4pm. This was not her first rodeo, so she knew she had a very short window of time to get in and get out.

Once she was sure that no one was about to walk in on her anytime soon, she set to work. Clarice immediately went to the rack which had the Callebaut chocolate-iced donuts topped with candied bacon arranged neatly in rows. From her messenger bag, she took out a used takeaway box and lifted one of those. It took her only a split second to pick another four donuts as she only had space for so many. Once she was done taking her pick, she made sure to rearrange them so no one would notice the missing goods.

The next time her fingers sparked a dizzying mix of purple and blue, she was back on the other side and to the kid eagerly awaiting the baked goodies Clarice promised.

"Here," She held out the cardboard container to the girl. "Take all the chocolate ones if you like." Clarice had picked out three variations of chocolate donuts, specifically for the girl.

"Are you sure I could take them all?" The kid asked, unsure of the consequences if she was caught having either too much sugary stuff or eating stolen food.

"Yeah, go ahead," Clarice said, encouragingly and when the girl readily took it, it was enough to make her smile. 

"Thank you," Shiloh said, remembering her manners at the last minute before she made her way back into the building.

"No worries, kid," she called back, waving.

As he watched Shiloh head back in, John decided it was time he made his presence known to Clarice. At the sound of boots crunching gravel, she half-turned her head just to confirm it was him. It wasn't easy for her to explain how she instinctively knew it was him, but she was becoming more cognizant of him. Whether it was the way his arm muscles bunched under his shirt when he was lifting things around, him pitching his voice a few octaves lower when talking with the young mutants, the way he looked at Caitlin with only respect in his eyes or the involuntary flutter in her chest when she was the reason his eyes crinkled with mirth.

"I see you got your warm jelly donut after all," For lack of anything else to say, he gestured loosely at the half-eaten doughnut before tucking his hand into the pocket of his jeans. He didn’t think it would be wise to remark upon her being back here after leaving so abruptly.

She shrugged, taking another bite of her donut. "Aren't you going to say anything about it?"

"Well, don't make it a habit," he said slowly, pushing at the lock of dark hair that fell into his eyes.

"That's it? You really just let them go with a slap on the wrists and a warning to not do it again when the people here does something wrong?" A short bitter laugh escaped her lips. "That whole planting a fake memory thing is really ruining my life, as if I hadn't already have enough going on." Clarice knew she was shouting now and she didn't care if anyone was listening in. "Don't give me the excuse that it's either me or everyone else. You may all be the good guys but that's some really twisted idea of what it means to be doing good." 

He flinched, sucking in a breath. She may not know it but he still felt responsible for what that had transpired in his absence. Part of his intention had been to spare her the hurt but he had also known that it wouldn't make him a better man. All it did was to condemn him in her eyes. 

For what it was worth, he didn't think it was something that he could ever make up to her and it had been eating him up from the inside ever since he found out. John knew it would take more than just an apology to return them to a less complicated state of being, but he could try again. “I- I'm sorry, Clarice."

"That's not even the worst part," she said, tossing the donut onto the ground. It didn’t seem as if she heard him or wanted to. Now that she was on a roll, her appetite vanished. "What she did was so wrong but I understood where she was coming from. It's not wrong she loved you enough to do whatever that was necessary to get you back in one piece."

John noticed how her voice caught at the word love. His mind was suddenly riveted to the moment when she had been seizing up on the makeshift operating table. That time had felt agonizingly long for him and this was coming from a guy who had never been anything less than collected in the most stressful of situations. He was a fucking Marine for Christ's sake.

"I should've known that it would come a time when she'd use you like that," he said, knowing that it was a flimsy excuse.

But he had to remind himself that Sonia was the reason he was still here. Even if John didn't agree with her method, he was nevertheless grateful.

"I have never felt so used, so violated, so—" Her insides twisted with the pain of betrayal and disappointment. In the aftermath of having portaled the SUV, she had been buoyed by the exhilaration of success. Only to recently discover it hadn't been real.

"Useless." Clarice gritted out. So much for thinking that she was getting a handle on her own powers in a major way.

"You're not useless." Clarice shook her head. "Look at me," John said this time, with all the authority he could muster and forcing her to look at him. Not that she intended not to.

A large hand slid over hers, holding it in what must have been meant as a comforting gesture. But her body misunderstood the casual gesture for the warmth that emanated from his body and left her wanting for more. "You've always had it in you. All Sonia did was to speed it up for you and make you -all of us- see your true potential." Clarice snorted, not buying it at all. But John was beyond taking offense, having gotten used to her default reaction whenever he started spewing the self-actualization stuff that she hated so much.

"You might not be able to achieve anything at such scale with your powers anytime soon, but it's all just a matter of time and practice. I have trust in you, and you have to believe that you can be too."

She was silent for a moment, chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully. "You make it sound so convincing. No wonder you're the one who's leading all these mutants."

"Believe it or not, it's starting to be difficult for me to keep all the mutants in line. Also, not everyone wants to be lead around by the guy with the least cool powers."

Something about his self-deprecating tone tickled her funny bone. In the time she had been here, John had never exhibited anything less than pure leadership skills. _Oh, never forget about the whole broody, big guy in tattoos and leathers_ _thing._ She couldn't remember having had a reason to question the decisions he made, or why anyone would think that someone other than John would be better at what he did.

_Save for when he decided she didn’t have to know about the mind manipulation, and being his very own personal, portable doormaker._

It started as a giggle from Clarice before achieving belly-aching proportions. "I mean," she said, pressing her lips together to keep from laughing any more than she should. "Don't tell Marcos this but the first time I saw his torchlight hands, I think I died a little inside."

For a moment, it was as if she was the only one who saw the funny side but then his mouth twitched. It was so slight that Clarice would have missed it had she not been entirely focused on him. Realizing this, she shifted her gaze with some embarrassment.

"Wait till Lorna hear what you just said," John said, mock-seriously and his amusement clear. "I heard she once stapled a guy to a wall because he said something he shouldn't."

Her eyes went wide with admiration for the green-haired mutant. "If she ever asks, tell her I said she was badass."

John watched as the burden of the memory that Sonia had decided to unload on her slowly fade away. It would have to do for starters, rocky as it may be. He was in a precarious position. One misstep and he would fall off the cliff into a watery grave.

What she wouldn't admit to him was that she felt humiliated. How was she supposed to tell him that there were nights when all she could think about was them cuddling in bed after they had hot, passionate sex. How Clarice didn't want to close her eyes anymore because she could only see herself as a cheap imitation of Sonia kissing him in the rain at the corner of some street she didn't recognize.

She didn't want to be reduced to a woman who could only yearn for a love that will never be hers to own. And neither did she want to feel the resentment that bubbled in her chest when she thought of how Sonia was beautiful in a way that spoke of glamorous, high-fashion photo spreads in _Vogue_.

John had wanted to give it time, just so he could figure out how the latest teleporter to join their ranks was making him feel a certain way. But looking at her now, trying to cope with the memory that wasn't hers, tore at his heart.

Maybe it was time he dealt with the truth that he no longer cared for Sonia the way he once did. She would always remind him of the time he first dated a fellow mutant but moving forward, he couldn't see them being anything more than friends. Their shelf life had long since passed but he couldn't yet bring himself to throw it out. Until today. Until now.

He and Clarice met each other's eyes as something passed between them.

"Let's start over," John said. He had no idea how this would work but he was not about to pass up the possibility of what it could lead to.


End file.
